My Life in Pictures

Well, I hope this post isn't too disappointing, but I realized that I really enjoy seeing pictures when other people post them on their blogs. And I have been lacking in that category recently. But here are a few of my life recently...

These are my roommates - Huda and BJ. Huda and I cheered on BJ on Halloween for the marathon that she ran. It was the Haunted Hustle - participants were encouraged to wear costumes!Below are the women that I co-lead with the woman in the top middle, Bonnie. All of these ladies are seniors and has been so fun to go through a study of the tabernacle with them by Beth Moore!


This last picture is with my friend Annie in front of a gorgeous sunset in October. We've had some pretty mild weather so far - and I am not complaining!

Desperation

Working full-time for the Lord has been a sweet blessing. I have seen Him open doors (literally) and open hearts that would not have been opened without His guiding hand. Last week, I saw a new sister from China added to the family because she saw how none of her efforts to live a good life were getting her closer to God.
There has also been a sense of desperation on my part. I am too weak. Not knowledgeable enough. Too messed up.
I am so desperate for the Holy Spirit to be at work in and through me because I cannot live this life on my own! I cannot share the love of God without His power in my life.
I am desperate. For Him.

A to Z Gospel

This is an excerpt from a study on Galatians by Pastor Timothy Keller:

It is very common in Christian circles to assume that “the gospel” is something just for non-Christians. We presume that the gospel is a set of basic “A-B-C” doctrines that Christians do not need to hear or study once they are converted. Rather, they should move beyond the gospel to more “advanced” doctrines. But the great declaration of the gospel of grace in Galatians was written to believers who did not see the implications of the gospel for life-issues confronting them...
Belief in the gospel is not just the way to enter the kingdom of God; it is the way to address every obstacle and grow in every aspect. The gospel is not just the “ABCs” but the “A-to-Z” of the Christian life. The gospel is the way that anything is renewed and transformed by Christ — whether a heart, a relationship, a church, or a community. All our problems come from a lack of orientation to the gospel. Put positively, the gospel transforms our hearts, our thinking and our approach to absolutely everything. The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous. So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time(!!!). This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth. It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you. But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin.

Woah - can that man speak truth, or what?? I have heard this excerpt I don't know how many times, yet it continues to penetrate my heart. The gospel. God's story of restoring His relationship with sinful man by sending Jesus to take the penalty of my sin. I'm more sinful than I ever dared believe, but more loved than I ever dared imagine - at the same time! I love that. My life's goal is to live out the gospel every day, empowered by the Holy Spirit. I want to see more of God's holiness and more of my sinfulness so that Christ will become increasingly greater in my life.

Wow, God

This is a rare glimpse into my life, as I don't tend to update often or even with specifics...
I am interning with Campus Crusade for Christ this coming year and I am spending my summer raising up a team of ministry partners who are excited about seeing people reached with the gospel of Christ. I began this support raising process officially on April 11 and currently have attained just over half of my goal! PRAISE the Lord! Wow, it is amazing to see Him provide!!
God, you are great.
Please pray with me that God will provide all of the support needed by me and my 2 friends who are also interning by August 10th.

Carried to the Table

A song that is very dear to me right now:

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

...any of that resonate with you? I'd love to chat - because it's hitting my heart.

Purpose

I realize most of my readers are family members who probably know the general happenings of my life, so I won't go into details. I'm not really a fan of posting the specifics anyway. But if you'd like to know, I'd be more than happy to share :)

So.... hm. How does one explain the inner groanings of a heart? That feeling of knowing that there is a greater potential for oneself that has been yet to be reached? It is a longing for deeper love and companionship. It is a longing to be fully known- good and bad. It is a longing not conjured by oneself, but immediately upon waking, it too rises for the day. It is different in every person, yet completely the same.

My groaning has been met by the working of the Holy Spirit within me - speaking to the Father on behalf of my needs and desires. It has been met, but it also has grown to recognize the groanings, the longings, of others' hearts. Perhaps they don't even know that it exists in them, but He has allowed me to sense the cracked and aching hearts of other people. And my own heart groans all the more because they do not sense their own need. The pain of their chipped-away self-esteem from being rejected by parents or lovers extends to my own heart, which writhes with the pain of the dejection they must feel. And I groan, inwardly. God, can't they see? Can't they see that only you can understand the groaning and meet their needs? Why do they stay in the cycle of pain?

Tonight, my heart groans for those who long to have purpose. Who labor daily to attain, what? Money? Status? Glory for themselves? It's vanity and my heart groans because it must feel so hollow at the end of the day - at the end of a lifetime. Laboring for the glory of the Lord. That is purpose. The purpose.

Emotional Tank

Being a woman, I have this strong emotional side to me - whether I like it or not. Seemingly, when I feel emotions, they simply go deeper and are more encompassing in comparison to how a man might feel them. Anyway, why do I speak of this? Well, I heard a pastor a few years ago who every once in a while would address the men in the congregation, asking them, "have you asked how your wife's emotional tank is recently?" Now, I was in a relationship at the time, so I kind of thought that perhaps this idea of an emotional tank would also make sense for me, a woman in a relationship. I totally identified with what the pastor was saying and would often have to let my significant other know when my emotional tank was running low - when I needed a hug or some words of encouragement.
But being single - does that emotional tank still exist? (Yes... duh, I think) Who does one go to to fill that emotional tank? Will it ever feel the same as, as a single person, when the one who helps to fill the emotional tank is a committed relationship partner?
Okay, so this may be WAY to "touchy-feely"... I admit, it's pushing my standards as well. But legitimately - I think women have emotional tanks that get low sometimes, and of course God wants us to turn to Him for that emotional support, but I think he also provides people through whom He shows His affection. I guess I'm just saying... hugs are welcome, and so are words of encouragement :)

After the Tassle Turned

GRADUATION!

Well, my friends, it has been a while since I have blogged. I have thought about it many times, actually, but I was always waiting for... something. And not that "something" has happened, but I have thoughts to share. First, I guess you can see from the pictures that I graduated from college - and finally grew 8 inches to be as tall as my brothers! That day is a sweet memory - a once in a lifetime memory.

But the inevitable question is always, "what will be next?" I was contemplating many ideas during the month of December - mostly ideas of doing ministry in various places like East Asia, France or England. If not those, then I figured I would end up in Milwaukee... but God brought the idea into my head of doing ministry in a place that I had practically said I would never end up doing ministry as a staff member - back on the UW campus. As I prayed through this, I realized that God had been slowly leading me to this place and that it actually will be an experience that I will be passionate about. I will be interning with Campus Crusade for Christ for about 9 months. This position will allow me to build relationships with women who live in the dorms and share with them the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you know me at all, you know that I am a highly relational person. I thrive upon having deep, heart-piercing conversations with people. As an intern, I will also be training leaders in evangelism and will be helping to build new spiritual movements on campus. This may sound strange to... many people... but personally, God has turned my world upside down and not living like this - not taking this incredible opportunity to get paid to have God-honoring relationships - that would be strange to me. From this place on campus, I also hope to share God's heart for the poor with students. His heart for the poor is His heart for me - for them, because we are all spiritually poverty-stricken without the richness of God's grace and the gift of Jesus in our lives. I would love, after this year, to be able to bring students with me to the city, where I hope to continue ministry.

"Bridget, I think I know where your name comes from - you bridge the gaps between people." - This sweet quote came from an acquaintance last year, and it clearly has left an impression upon my heart. Truly this captures my heart because nothing is so deeply moving to me as seeing hurt, broken people brought back together by forgiveness to have a reconciled relationship. Jesus is in the business of reconciliation - in fact, without him, broken people and relationships can never be fully healed. With this passion, I step forward in faith toward broken people, broken families... hurting people.

One of those broken people is myself, actually. The sin in my life is deep and gross. Sometimes it's so easy to become bogged down by the guilt of my transgressions, but thanks to my God who forgives, I can live in the freedom of his grace! It is my ambition to live in gratitude... and not in guilt. If I live in guilt, the attention is turned on me and how I have failed. But if I live in grace, the attention is turned on God and what He has done for me, His beloved! He gets all of the glory! And that is how it should be. Abba, help me to bring you glory by praising you for making my dead heart beat again.