Rolling Fog, Seeing Clearly

As I drove through the thick fog with my brother Jordan and his fiance, Jen, I thought to myself, "this fog is so thick I could put it into a tupperware container." I probably could have, but I was fresh out of Gladware and securely belted into the vehicle.
It was really great to spend time with this brother of mine and my sister-in-law to be. We went over to a family friend's house and played trivial pursuit and battle of the sexes. This is the first quality time that I've spent with my brother in...um.... a decade or more? Perhaps when Rhumbas were in style? No... I just never really see the adventurous guy and I realized something about myself today. I assume the best in people I have never met, yet the worst of my family. Sure, they have qualities that painfully rub every fiber of my being at times, but they also have really endearing qualities. They are human. They are so loved, though! I want to love them for who they are as both inherently annoying and joyfully unique creatures. Lord, help me with this. I am weak to do it on my own.

Stalling

Currently I have one final paper that remains between me and the end of the semester and I am feeling quite apathetic toward it. (Obviously, considering I am blogging instead of writing it - it's due tomorrow!) Well, I am just certainly grateful that my calling in life is not to write academic papers. I find people much more interesting. I would rather spend hours and days on end talking and listening with someone rather than writing one research paper. This is the heart God has given me - and I praise Him for it!

Yesterday and today I had the opportunity to spend with my mom and grandma (the beautiful one who I talked about in my last post) and I just absolutely grew in appreciation for the wonderful family that I have come from. My mother is a fountain of wisdom and tender love that I have been too self-absorbed to tap into until this point in my life. I will drink of this fount from now on! And my dear grandmother - what an absolutely delightful sense of humor this woman has. We went to Olive Garden yesterday for lunch and the three of us were seated at a table for 6. My grandmother pipes up to tell our hostess, "make sure to send any single men to our table." I look forward to the deep-creased laugh lines that I will earn someday to match hers.
And since I previously posted a picture of my grand-mama, these pictures are an ode to my magnificent mama.

Desires of my Heart

Here I am, in my junior year of college, and I am just realizing how much richness of life that I have been missing. My family has been around me my whole life and I have taken their presence and the relationships that I have with them for granted. The desire of my heart this Christmas - well, for the rest of my life, really - is to deepen these relationships. I want to know their stories. I want to know their hearts. I want to see them as God sees them. Above is a picture of my grandmother - the only grandmother I've known. Isn't she BEAUTIFUL? I think she's amazing and her heart for the Lord is so tender. I hope one day that I can look that good and have a heart that soft.

Unravelling

In my mind there seems to be a knotted mass of thoughts that vary in urgency and importance. One strand is reminding me of my unsatiated stomach while another twists around it, its fibers probing me to override my desire to munch and go put on a pair of gloves because my fingers are turning an unhealthy shade of purple. But these are just the most extraneous strands. At the heart of this knot are my thoughts concerning what I am to do with my life. Yes, it's that broad. Of course I do not need to figure this out right now, but I do enjoy planning and imagining what the next turn of life will be like. How does one unravel the knot? I'm not that concerned about it, honestly, for there will probably never be a way to do so.
I'm just very thankful for friends who help me in this process of picking through the rainbow of strings and ropes. That is a great joy to me. Thanks for listening.