Monday, April 13, 2009

A Love of a Jealous Kind

Today I have been listening to my pandora (free radio on the internet) and this one song that I have heard before really grabbed my attention today. It's called "Jealous Kind" by Jars of Clay. I've always enjoyed the musical style of the song before but I was really driven to find out more about the lyrics today. They are:

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I've been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you're turning over tables with
the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind

Trying to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than to be broken by a lover I don't understand
'Cause I don't understand

One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise,
betrays the heart's deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

When I read these lyrics through at first, I was still rather confused. But thinking about the heart behind them, I take them as a very intimate and personal wrestling that an individual is having with the Lord.
As humans, we have this nature that causes us to seek after things to fulfill ourselves - the love and attention of other people, success in business, raising healthy children... These things are not bad in themselves, but I think all too easily we put them first, before God. But God is a jealous God - he doesn't want our leftover efforts. He doesn't want to be our second (or third or fourth) love. Jesus took the full wrath of God's justice on himself because he LOVES us! This is a love that truly shames the wise of this world. This is a love that breaks the backs of our foolish pride. This is a love that I am unworthy of. So unworthy.

But so grateful. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

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