Remembering Lidia

For two and a half weeks I had spent most of my time filling out applications for cleaning positions at hotels, barista jobs at Starbucks, super-sizing at McDonald's...  I had drove, walked, and gotten lost all over the city of Milwaukee in pursuit of anyone who would hire me for the summer. 

With only four and a half weeks left in Milwaukee to work, I was beginning to grow disheartened.  I had many people praying for me and cheering me on.  I also had a new energy and purpose after realizing that God didn't want me to work for Him, He wanted to work through me.  There was a reason I hadn't gotten a job yet... I just didn't know what that reason was and my faith was beginning to falter.

Then, my two friends who I had been job-searching with, were hired!  I was so excited for them... but I still wanted (and needed) a job!  One of the staff members who had been cheering me on called her cousin on a long shot... maybe she would be willing to hire me on as a temp?

I met with Aimee, the staff member's cousin and Milwaukee temp placement agent, to fill out paperwork at Starbucks and learn that I would begin working for a fulfillment company in New Berlin the next day.  Apparently I was hired... just like that!

My first day... I was nervous, but so grateful.  Good wages, full-time hours.  It was a bit of a drive, but I had a job. 

When I arrived, I was told that I would be shadowing Carmen... but she was late.  I would have to work with Lidia until Carmen could work with me.

I was brought over to a group of tables, with boxes grouped all around it.  I was introduced to Lidia by the manager, and was told that I would be a "packer," while Lidia did the "picking."  The manager showed me how to pack a couple of boxes, then left me alone to figure out the rest.  Um, what?  You can bet that I was praying like crazy that God would help me to do this job and learn it quickly!

I tried to ask Lidia a few questions, but she gave short answers.  She seemed upset... probably because the new girl had been pushed on her and would slow her down.  I felt bad, but also intimidated that her English did not seem to be that great.

After about an hour (where I'm sure I spent more time looking helpless and lost than actually being productive), Carmen arrived.  Lidia stepped over to her table and there was a quick, loud exchange of Spanish.  I didn't really know what was going on, but I ended up staying with Lidia for the rest of the day.  Throughout the day, I kept trying to ask Lidia questions to get to know her better, as I figured I might be working with her often.  To my surprise, she offered up something to me that I did not expect.  She told me, "My daughters are about your age and they do not respect me.  I get so angry with them."

Ohh, I was so excited to be done with my first day!  I was mentally exhausted by learning a new job - figuring out how to pack different items from infomercials into boxes to be shipped to customers - physically exhausted from bending, lifting, and standing for 7 hours, and emotionally exhausted from the spiritually dark work environment that I had entered.  Stepping out the door and finding my car was a welcome sight!  I sped back to tell my friend Andrea all that had happened.  What a day!

In the days and weeks to come, I did work more with Lidia and prayed to make the most of my opportunities with her.  I learned about her family and asked her to help me learn Spanish.  I could tell that she was warming up to me, and appreciated that I was learning my job quickly at the same time.

We began to have spiritual conversations as we worked.  When I asked her what she thought about God, she told me, "I don't think about God."  She had grown up going to church with her mother, but her mother died when she was young and she stopped going.  Her sister-in-law had tried to take her to church, but it seemed too emotional for her.  Everyone screamed and fell down, but she didn't feel anything.  There were rules that they wanted her to follow, but she did not want to be forced into anything.

Oh, my heart ached for Lidia to know the God who created her and loved her!  One day, I mentioned to Lidia that I used to be an angry kid.  She was shocked - she tried to convince me that it couldn't be true.  I began to tell her my story of how Jesus had showed me the hurt that my anger was bringing and that He was the one who began to change my heart.  He began to soften me and fill me with His love.  Her face showed amazement.  I told her that God wanted to take her anger, too.  He was offering her forgiveness and unfailing love.  I asked Lidia to consider this offer.

At the end of the week, I gave Lidia a small booklet that explained the gospel.  I was so nervous, yet I knew it was not up to me to change her heart.  The next week, I asked Lidia what she thought of the booklet.  She told me "it was the most beautiful thing I've ever read."  She told me that she had prayed to trust Jesus as her Lord and Savior!  I was so excited!!  Lidia was now my sister in Christ!  We had known each other for just two and a half short weeks, but I had seen Lidia come from death unto life. 

Two and a half weeks I had searched and prayed for a job, and God provided!
Two and a half weeks I had prayed for boldness in sharing the gospel with Lidia and for her salvation, and God provided!

In the week and a half that followed, which was all I had left of my job for the summer, I shared with Lidia about what was now true of her in Christ.  We dreamed of heaven together, and laughed over my terrible Spanish together.  It was such a sweet time!

Since then, I've seen Lidia twice.  She thanked me so much for bringing joy and love to her life.  I had the chance to meet one of her daughters and her grandson.

It's been over 3 years now since I've seen or heard from Lidia... she has probably moved - perhaps back to Mexico.  But I cannot stop thinking about her life and praying for her impact for God's kingdom.  I can't wait to see Lidia in heaven and hear all that God did through her in her life!

Looking back, I am so amazed that God would have used me - a 19 year old college student, quiet and meek - to reach a 43 year old Hispanic woman, reserved and apathetic toward God.  I love thinking back on all of the conversations that I had with Lidia - and with the other people who worked at that factory.  I wonder at how God wove the fabrics of our lives together.  I pray that God may continue to multiply my life and Lidia's life!  I love to remember Lidia.  Her memory always brings me to worship Jesus again.

Winter Collage

I'm very fond of writing in rhyme, so let me share with you how I've been spending my time:
Cheering for the Pack at a Monday night game, the Vikings sure lost - and that's not a shame!
Boxes of Love came and went in a flash- with our church partners, we made quite a splash
Spending time with my friends in so many ways, from coffee to cooking and to Christmas plays
There's probably more I could add to this post, but keeping things simple is what I value most :)

At the game with some of my team: Jeff & Sarah, Kara, Me

I taught an evangelism training at Boxes of Love for our ministry partners

Kara and Tang are not only part of the HLIC staff team, they are also my roomies!

Our photographer cued us for different emotions... this was tired.

Scared... although, Tang looks a little too happy to be scared :)

Keepin' it real in the hood.

 

Life Light Up - HLIC Mission and Vision

Check out this slideshow that I put together to describe the ministry of Here's Life Inner City.  It gives a great picture of what we're all about!

Life Light Up - HLIC Mission and Vision

Hope Changes Everything

This past Friday night, over 80 people gathered for a night of fellowship and encouragement to hear what God is doing through the ministry of Here's Life Inner City and our partner ministries in Milwaukee.  It was an awesome evening filled with testimonies of how lives have been changed by the hope that Jesus brings.  We also presented our financial needs for the coming year and saw the Lord provide.

Thank you for your prayers!

I worked on putting together a video slideshow of the mission and vision of our ministries that we played at the event, but unfortunately it's not working for me to load it to this site.  We're working on putting it up on our website, so once that is complete, I'll attach a link so that you may enjoy it.  :)

In the meantime... just because I love pictures and don't think a post is complete without them, here are some recent pics with my niece, Julia, and nephew, Ben.  (I told Ben to be silly... this is what I got.)

Enjoying Fall!

I am totally loving fall!  There have been some exciting things happening here - including my dear friend Andrea, who is on my staff team, having her twins in late September!  They've been in the NICU and I still have yet to see them in person, but I hope to meet them next week when they come home... Lord willing!  A week before baby boy (SD) and baby girl (EG) came into the world, a group of ladies came together to shower Andrea with lots of gifts, fun, and love. 

I've also been enjoying getting into a "normal" schedule and having time to bond with my roomies and other friends.  Above is my friend Kara who is also my roommate and my trainer.  She gets to spend a lot of time with me, so it's good that we get along.  :)

Our team is small and is really more of a family, so I get the privilege of spending a lot of time with my director's kids.  HB is a little 3.5 year old cutie and has 3 brothers, so she eats up the time that she gets to spend with girl friends.  She likes to tell me, "you're my friend a lot."  Totally adorable!  And of course, her mama is wrapped around her little finger.  Sarah has been such an encouragement to me through the transition to this team and a new season of life.  I'm so blessed to be among such awesome people!

Another fun part of my fall has been spending time with some friends that I originally met in Milwaukee during our summer missions project.  We all moved to Milwaukee this year.  Shira (left in red) and Emily (right in red) are serving with CityYear, a branch of Americorps, to work as tutors and mentors in inner city schools.  Their roommate, Courtney (far left), is student teaching in Milwaukee.  We've been enjoying the fall by cheering on the Packers together and going pumpkin picking.

This past weekend, I went with Kara to her hometown of Montello, where we visited with her parents and I was able to see many friends from Madison who were at a Christian camp there for Cru's fall retreat.  It was such a fun and refreshing weekend - especially seeing all the beautiful fall colors!  ...and of course, the famous Granite Falls in Montello.  :)

Getting Here

It's interesting to me that I now live in Milwaukee and feel totally at home here.  Growing up, I used to play for a soccer club that would often require travel to the Milwaukee area.  My parents probably drove me to Milwaukee at least every other weekend - if not every weekend.  At that age, I didn't really know where I was, though, and now realize that we traveled to many suburbs of Milwaukee (specifically I remember Cedarburg, Brookfield, and Delafield)... but I was hardly ever in the city.

I wish I had pictures from those years on my computer... my team was the Middleton Fire.  We had some of the ugliest jerseys imaginable - yellow and blue in kind of a checkered pattern.  Okay, maybe there are worse... but none are coming to mind.

My senior year of high school, I had a friend who went to Marquette University whom I visited several times throughout the year.  It's funny to me now that I was literally blocks away from the office I now work in - in a neighborhood that she had warned me to stay away from.

I continued to travel to Milwaukee for soccer throughout high school.  At the end of my senior year, my varsity soccer team went to the state tournament at Uihlein Stadium and we won first place.  The year before, I had broken my nose at that tournament and we wound up 4th.  I was glad to have ended high school on a better note.

As a freshman in college, I began to visit my boyfriend at UW-Milwaukee monthly... the drive from Madison became very familiar and I grew very excited at seeing landmarks like Miller Park and Martin Luther King Jr Blvd that told me I was getting close to his apartment.  I remember driving up and down Oakland Ave quite often, and even spending several cold hours in my car outside of Noodles, listening to Fernando Ortego over and over while I waited for him to get out of class.

But after he transferred to Madison our sophomore year, the visits to Milwaukee stopped.

For whatever reason, though, God brought me back the summer after my sophomore year to experience one of the most impactful, memorable, and cherished seasons of my life.  That was the beginning of my experience with Here's Life Inner City and a group of people who lived out the gospel like I had never seen before.

Fast forward through countless visits back for fun, for volunteering, for comfort, for truth and grace... and here I am.  So different than when I first came, yet struggling with some of the same things.  So similar to when I first came, and yet seeing how much deeper and sweeter my ties not only to Milwaukee have become, but also to my friends here and to the truth of the gospel.  I'm so thankful for this opportunity to be in this city and to learn.  I have so much to learn! 

The Life of Job

Since the beginning of 2011 I've been on this kick of reading the Old Testament.  I know for most it can be the driest part of the Bible to read, but I've actually really been loving it.  In fact, reading through the book of Numbers became one of the favorite parts of my daily routine!  Probably strange, I know, but it was just so cool to see more of God's character through His interactions with His chosen people.

A few days ago, I just finished reading Job (now you may be thinking... 9 months and you've only gotten through Job?  Well, yes... but I've been reading other things too!).  There was a side note in my Bible about Job's reply to the Lord after the Lord finally appeared to Him.  It highlighted that Job was still in a pathetic state (children died, blistered body, poverty-stricken) when he recognized his folly in questioning God and submitted himself to God's will.

Then Job replied to the LORD:

  “I know that you can do all things;
   no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
  You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
   Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
   things too wonderful for me to know.

“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.’
  My ears had heard of you
   but now my eyes have seen you.
  Therefore I despise myself
   and repent in dust and ashes.” - Job 42:1-6

I feel like I've been questioning God lately about why I've had to go through some of the things I've gone through, feeling like I deserved an answer.  But God has been so faithful and continued to bless me in ways that show me His love, even though it is not required of Him.  I think I need to learn more from Job and see that even in the hard places, God is still in control and wants me to submit to His will.  God's love for me is incredible.  I want to be able to accept it with an open mind and heart.

Awkward, but true

So, I have 3 nephews and a niece all under the age of 5.  They are pretty stinkin' cute.  But they are just growing up so quickly!  The eldest is just a few months shy of turning 5 and I keep thinking about how this is the age that I really can start remembering back to.  And let me tell you... there are some awkward memories.

Like that time when I had a clown suit for dress up.  It was navy blue with white polka dots and had cute colored yarn puff balls that ran up the middle of it like buttons.  I think my mother may have made it.  Well, there was one day when I was around 4 that I got quite angry.  I can't even remember about what, but I do remember going down to the basement with that clown suit and letting it have the brunt of my anger by ripping it in two.  Not a proud moment to look back on, but pretty accurate in terms of how I acted out as a child.

This is 4th grade...right on the verge of the real awkward phase of life.  I'm the one in the plaid, if you weren't sure :)

Ah yes, or a little later on, like in 4th grade at our school's annual "Skate-a-Thon."  We spent the day at a roller rink, showing off and getting blistered feet.  There was a group of boys in my class who were very close.  I had a crush on one of them with brown, wavy hair; a beautiful smile; and soccer skills I was envious of.  Well, a few of these boys skated up to me and said, "Phil wants to hold your hand and skate with you."  Phil?!  He was the tallest boy in our class with dark brown hair, lanky arms, and big teeth.  I did not have a crush on Phil.  Flustered, I said, "Well, he'll have to catch me!"  And I quickly took off skating... but it was a loop - where in the world did I think I was going?  He never did catch me.

And like that time in fifth grade when I was a new student at an elementary school.  It was recess and I was playing on the monkey bars with some friends when a group of boys came over.  I knew they were friends of the boy (Jack) in my class whom I found most annoying because he had to make a comment about everything.  They said to me, "Hey - Jack wants to know your phone number."  They laughed among themselves as my face flushed.  Eager to get attention off of myself I responded, "it's 911!"  They quickly turned to run after poor Jack and tell him of how I had crushed his pride.

Or that time in sixth grade when I had a month to work on building a model of a castle.  Day 1 : I got a piece of green construction paper for the land it would sit on.  Days 2-28 : I probably sat around watching tv. Day 29 : Reminder in school that the castle was due the next day.  Panic.  Stayed up late and got up early to construct a shoddy gray construction paper castle.  I began walking to school, with the glue still wet and it collapsed before I got to the end of the block.  I cried and turned back toward home.  My mother agreed to call the school, telling them I'd be late so that I could redo my project.  Finally, I got it to school and was relieved to get this burden out of my hands.  A few days later... I found out I got a D on my castle.  My first ever grade below a B and I was devastated and ashamed.  But I knew I totally deserved it.

These moments of my life are awkward, but true... and they're just scratching the surface.  Praise the Lord that He is making me more like Jesus each day!  I'm not done with being awkward, but at least they are more Christ-like.  He was human after all... I'm sure he ran into some awkward moments.

So... what about you?  I'd love to hear your best "awkward, but true" stories :)

Beginning a New Chapter

My dad has been continually asking me if I have updated my blog, so this one is dedicated to him.  Happy, daddy?  Well, I suppose it is about time that I update this.  I have been doing a great deal of organizing today - my clothes, my closet, my car... why not my blog?  Although that doesn't start with a 'c,' unfortunately. 

In a few short weeks I will be moving into my apartment in Milwaukee with 3 other girls.  Our neighbor, Mama Ball, apparently makes great barbeque and knows all the ins and outs of the neighborhood.  I hope to make friends with her.  :)

I'm so glad that I have a good community already waiting for me in Milwaukee.  It's exciting, but still a little unnerving, to be moving to a new city and starting a new job.  But having my friends there will be very comforting.  They're very... mature.

My Life in Pictures

Well, I hope this post isn't too disappointing, but I realized that I really enjoy seeing pictures when other people post them on their blogs. And I have been lacking in that category recently. But here are a few of my life recently...

These are my roommates - Huda and BJ. Huda and I cheered on BJ on Halloween for the marathon that she ran. It was the Haunted Hustle - participants were encouraged to wear costumes!Below are the women that I co-lead with the woman in the top middle, Bonnie. All of these ladies are seniors and has been so fun to go through a study of the tabernacle with them by Beth Moore!


This last picture is with my friend Annie in front of a gorgeous sunset in October. We've had some pretty mild weather so far - and I am not complaining!

Desperation

Working full-time for the Lord has been a sweet blessing. I have seen Him open doors (literally) and open hearts that would not have been opened without His guiding hand. Last week, I saw a new sister from China added to the family because she saw how none of her efforts to live a good life were getting her closer to God.
There has also been a sense of desperation on my part. I am too weak. Not knowledgeable enough. Too messed up.
I am so desperate for the Holy Spirit to be at work in and through me because I cannot live this life on my own! I cannot share the love of God without His power in my life.
I am desperate. For Him.

A to Z Gospel

This is an excerpt from a study on Galatians by Pastor Timothy Keller:

It is very common in Christian circles to assume that “the gospel” is something just for non-Christians. We presume that the gospel is a set of basic “A-B-C” doctrines that Christians do not need to hear or study once they are converted. Rather, they should move beyond the gospel to more “advanced” doctrines. But the great declaration of the gospel of grace in Galatians was written to believers who did not see the implications of the gospel for life-issues confronting them...
Belief in the gospel is not just the way to enter the kingdom of God; it is the way to address every obstacle and grow in every aspect. The gospel is not just the “ABCs” but the “A-to-Z” of the Christian life. The gospel is the way that anything is renewed and transformed by Christ — whether a heart, a relationship, a church, or a community. All our problems come from a lack of orientation to the gospel. Put positively, the gospel transforms our hearts, our thinking and our approach to absolutely everything. The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous. So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time(!!!). This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth. It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you. But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin.

Woah - can that man speak truth, or what?? I have heard this excerpt I don't know how many times, yet it continues to penetrate my heart. The gospel. God's story of restoring His relationship with sinful man by sending Jesus to take the penalty of my sin. I'm more sinful than I ever dared believe, but more loved than I ever dared imagine - at the same time! I love that. My life's goal is to live out the gospel every day, empowered by the Holy Spirit. I want to see more of God's holiness and more of my sinfulness so that Christ will become increasingly greater in my life.

Wow, God

This is a rare glimpse into my life, as I don't tend to update often or even with specifics...
I am interning with Campus Crusade for Christ this coming year and I am spending my summer raising up a team of ministry partners who are excited about seeing people reached with the gospel of Christ. I began this support raising process officially on April 11 and currently have attained just over half of my goal! PRAISE the Lord! Wow, it is amazing to see Him provide!!
God, you are great.
Please pray with me that God will provide all of the support needed by me and my 2 friends who are also interning by August 10th.

Carried to the Table

A song that is very dear to me right now:

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

...any of that resonate with you? I'd love to chat - because it's hitting my heart.

Purpose

I realize most of my readers are family members who probably know the general happenings of my life, so I won't go into details. I'm not really a fan of posting the specifics anyway. But if you'd like to know, I'd be more than happy to share :)

So.... hm. How does one explain the inner groanings of a heart? That feeling of knowing that there is a greater potential for oneself that has been yet to be reached? It is a longing for deeper love and companionship. It is a longing to be fully known- good and bad. It is a longing not conjured by oneself, but immediately upon waking, it too rises for the day. It is different in every person, yet completely the same.

My groaning has been met by the working of the Holy Spirit within me - speaking to the Father on behalf of my needs and desires. It has been met, but it also has grown to recognize the groanings, the longings, of others' hearts. Perhaps they don't even know that it exists in them, but He has allowed me to sense the cracked and aching hearts of other people. And my own heart groans all the more because they do not sense their own need. The pain of their chipped-away self-esteem from being rejected by parents or lovers extends to my own heart, which writhes with the pain of the dejection they must feel. And I groan, inwardly. God, can't they see? Can't they see that only you can understand the groaning and meet their needs? Why do they stay in the cycle of pain?

Tonight, my heart groans for those who long to have purpose. Who labor daily to attain, what? Money? Status? Glory for themselves? It's vanity and my heart groans because it must feel so hollow at the end of the day - at the end of a lifetime. Laboring for the glory of the Lord. That is purpose. The purpose.

Emotional Tank

Being a woman, I have this strong emotional side to me - whether I like it or not. Seemingly, when I feel emotions, they simply go deeper and are more encompassing in comparison to how a man might feel them. Anyway, why do I speak of this? Well, I heard a pastor a few years ago who every once in a while would address the men in the congregation, asking them, "have you asked how your wife's emotional tank is recently?" Now, I was in a relationship at the time, so I kind of thought that perhaps this idea of an emotional tank would also make sense for me, a woman in a relationship. I totally identified with what the pastor was saying and would often have to let my significant other know when my emotional tank was running low - when I needed a hug or some words of encouragement.
But being single - does that emotional tank still exist? (Yes... duh, I think) Who does one go to to fill that emotional tank? Will it ever feel the same as, as a single person, when the one who helps to fill the emotional tank is a committed relationship partner?
Okay, so this may be WAY to "touchy-feely"... I admit, it's pushing my standards as well. But legitimately - I think women have emotional tanks that get low sometimes, and of course God wants us to turn to Him for that emotional support, but I think he also provides people through whom He shows His affection. I guess I'm just saying... hugs are welcome, and so are words of encouragement :)

After the Tassle Turned

GRADUATION!

Well, my friends, it has been a while since I have blogged. I have thought about it many times, actually, but I was always waiting for... something. And not that "something" has happened, but I have thoughts to share. First, I guess you can see from the pictures that I graduated from college - and finally grew 8 inches to be as tall as my brothers! That day is a sweet memory - a once in a lifetime memory.

But the inevitable question is always, "what will be next?" I was contemplating many ideas during the month of December - mostly ideas of doing ministry in various places like East Asia, France or England. If not those, then I figured I would end up in Milwaukee... but God brought the idea into my head of doing ministry in a place that I had practically said I would never end up doing ministry as a staff member - back on the UW campus. As I prayed through this, I realized that God had been slowly leading me to this place and that it actually will be an experience that I will be passionate about. I will be interning with Campus Crusade for Christ for about 9 months. This position will allow me to build relationships with women who live in the dorms and share with them the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you know me at all, you know that I am a highly relational person. I thrive upon having deep, heart-piercing conversations with people. As an intern, I will also be training leaders in evangelism and will be helping to build new spiritual movements on campus. This may sound strange to... many people... but personally, God has turned my world upside down and not living like this - not taking this incredible opportunity to get paid to have God-honoring relationships - that would be strange to me. From this place on campus, I also hope to share God's heart for the poor with students. His heart for the poor is His heart for me - for them, because we are all spiritually poverty-stricken without the richness of God's grace and the gift of Jesus in our lives. I would love, after this year, to be able to bring students with me to the city, where I hope to continue ministry.

"Bridget, I think I know where your name comes from - you bridge the gaps between people." - This sweet quote came from an acquaintance last year, and it clearly has left an impression upon my heart. Truly this captures my heart because nothing is so deeply moving to me as seeing hurt, broken people brought back together by forgiveness to have a reconciled relationship. Jesus is in the business of reconciliation - in fact, without him, broken people and relationships can never be fully healed. With this passion, I step forward in faith toward broken people, broken families... hurting people.

One of those broken people is myself, actually. The sin in my life is deep and gross. Sometimes it's so easy to become bogged down by the guilt of my transgressions, but thanks to my God who forgives, I can live in the freedom of his grace! It is my ambition to live in gratitude... and not in guilt. If I live in guilt, the attention is turned on me and how I have failed. But if I live in grace, the attention is turned on God and what He has done for me, His beloved! He gets all of the glory! And that is how it should be. Abba, help me to bring you glory by praising you for making my dead heart beat again.

East Asia Vision Trip

Finally! Thank you for all of you who kept asking me for an update about East Asia. I finally have the time and the sanity to tell you about this trip and other events that have been happening in my life. As a short recap, this past Thanksgiving break I went with 13 other students from Madison to travel to a large communist country in East Asia. The purpose of our trip was to see how God is working in people's lives on the other side of the world and to share the gospel with students at one of the top universities in that nation. Here is a picture of our whole group at the Great Wall:

What I can say about this trip is that I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to go. Honestly, it was a really hard week for me. My heart was heavy over the question "Why am I here? What is my purpose in coming to this country?" It was dirty - the ground, the air, the water. I did not speak the language and was even illiterate. I felt very far from my friends and family and anything familiar. And I was frustrated with myself for having been willing to "go anywhere" for God when I was back in Madison, but for not feeling that when I was in East Asia. I was confronted with my own sinful, selfish nature and the realization that there is a lot left to be done in my heart in terms of surrendering my full self to God. In addition to all of this, I was trying to picture myself serving for a year in a ministry role in this country. I really wanted to say that I would follow God's call and come for a year-long internship, but my heart was very hard toward the idea. Looking back, I'm not really sure that God was calling me to that place for this next year. I think he wanted to show me the contrast between my stubborn, unwilling, anger-filled heart and his merciful, loving and redeeming heart.

During the week that our team from Madison was at this university in East Asia, we did see God working in the people's hearts. It was not our purpose to go teach them; it was our purpose to listen to them and to love them. We spent most of our days going on the campus in pairs so that we could approach people as they ate or walked around and ask them if they would be willing to talk with us about life and culture. One day my sharing partner, Jenna, and I stopped a girl named Tracy. She said that she had a lot to do, but she was willing to do it later on in order to spend time with us! What a sweet girl - we were able to go through the gospel with her and she had some really good questions. She said that she would want to think about what we shared with her and we connected her with the international staff so that they could talk more about spiritual things after our team left.

Meeting the people was probably the best part of this trip. It was striking that most of them had no knowledge of Jesus. In America, many people have a lot of baggage attached when spiritual conversations are brought up, but people in East Asia do not have this baggage. Their government blotted out religion as best they could this past century so that the people may only depend upon the government for all of their needs. With no chance to accumulate religious baggage, the students responded as interested listeners when we brought up spiritual topics. They had genuine questions about this God that loves them.

So, I am back now and have been thankful every day for blue skies, the English language, and the new friends that I made across the globe. I don't think that God is calling me to East Asia next year, but he has given me the vision for how he will be moving in people's hearts in this country to turn around and touch people's hearts in the most unreached places of the world.

Thank you so much for your love, support and prayers!

Please feel free to ask any questions or comments. Love, Bridget

An Update is Coming...

So, although I am a compulsive blog checker, I am almost certain that no one checks my blog compulsively, which is completely okay.
But if anyone would happen to look here for an update about my life and times, you would be disappointed. The update is that I've gone and come back to East Asia and am now in the midst of the final semester crunch. I would love to give you further details... when I don't have 10 things due that I should be working on. :)
So, until then...
You are loved.

Here's Life Senior Year

So, here it is. My last year - last semester - of college. I gotta say, it's been busy. Obviously - considering I haven't posted since September! And it's already November... oh boy.

Well, I honestly dislike giving laundry lists of the things that I have been up to. I'd rather talk on the phone (or even better, in person!) if you'd be interested in such things. :) No, my vision for this blog is to be an outlet for my thoughts, dreams, failures, hopes and prayers.

In just 2 1/2 weeks I will be leaving for a large communist country in East Asia. I am going with 14 other students for a week on a vision trip that will hopefully open my eyes further to what God's plan is for me and for His people around the world. I'm at the moment considering, along with a couple of other opportunities, spending a year in East Asia after I graduate.

You know, I know that wherever I end up, God is going to use me and help me grow in wonderful and unexpected ways. Sometimes I find myself just laughing at how worked up I can get over details of the future. It's all in His hands. I know that when all is said and done, I get to spend eternity with my savior. For the space in between, my goal is to love the way He does and to bring Him glory. It's going to be so fun. And really hard. But how could I live my life any differently and find satisfaction? Answer: I can't.

So... here I go. I'm diving in... dive with me :)


On a quite unrelated note, but under the category of recent events... this is my new buddy Nathaniel. Simply amazing. Holding a baby is like physically holding God's grace. I highly recommend it.